I'll Be Happy When...

No you won't. You may get a brief warm fuzzy feeling, but you won't experience long term, true happiness.

Why? Because happiness that is based upon having to own or achieve something is faux happiness at best. The postponement of happiness until later is the denial of happiness now.

So, reverse the order. Instead of positing that achievement will bring happiness, how about assuming that happiness might indeed create more success? In other words, isn't it entirely possible that you will produce better results, attract better people, and generally have a higher quality life if you claim your inherent happiness now?

Shawn Achor, the author of The Happiness Advantage sure thinks so. And he offers these five simple practices to help jump start your happiness:

1) Meditate for a short time (as little as two minutes) everyday.

2) Write down three things a day for which you are grateful.

3) Send a positive, supportive email to someone first thing each day.

4) Exercise for 30 minutes a day.

5) Write for two minutes a day describing a positive experience you had in the last 24 hours.

Practice one, or more, of these happiness habits for 30 days, and watch your overall happiness soar. You may or may not get that new job, new relationship, or new car you've been desiring, but you will surely get a new perspective on life.

To Be Happy Be Kind

Want to be happy? Be kind to others. It's as simple as that.

Researchers at NYU report in the spring issue of The Journal of Happiness Studies (yes, there really is such a publication!) that doing good deeds, or just generally being supportive of others, for as little as 15 minutes a day can make you happier. And get this -- the effects can be felt up to six months after you do these small acts!

Not only will you be happier, your self-esteem will be higher, as well. You'll get what's sometimes referred to as "a helper's high." And this high is free. No shady drug deals in dirty alleys, no illegal drugs need to enter your system, and no money changes hands.

Just be kind. It's the simple path to happiness.

The Strongest Predictor of Happiness

If you just had more money, more time, more recognition, a better job, a nicer house, a chance to retire early, or a million and one other things, you'd be happy, right?

Doubtful.

You see real, long term happiness is not found in things, or even in achievements. Writing in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science, researchers Maya Tamir of Hebrew University, June Gruber of Yale, and Iris Mauss of the University of Denver state that the strongest predictor of happiness is not money or success but having "meaningful social relationships."

What makes a relationship "meaningful" is up to you to decide, but for most people it means that it transcends small talk, that is it is a relationship in which both people find acceptance, openness, shared interests, and more. But in fact, both the quantity and quality of these relationships matter. In other studies, on the whole, extroverts are found to be happier than introverts, in a large part because they have more friends.

So forget about winning the Nobel Prize in Commercial Real Estate. Don't worry so much which direction the friggin' stock market goes. Instead, make more friends. And deepen your relationships with the friends you have. People, not things, are what bring more happines into our lives. And people, thank God (and poor family planning), are everywhere!

Do What You Love

"Do what you love and the money will follow," says author Marsha Sinetar. A few million starving artists and struggling musicians might dispute her on that. However, one thing is true -- whether you're paid to do it or not, if you do what you love happiness will ensue. You won't even have to wait for it to follow; it will blossom right in the midst of the loving act itself!

It's so simple that it seems almost ridiculous to speak about it. But maybe its very simplicity makes it easy to miss. People piss and moan and complain all the time about their lives not being what they want them to be, when all they have to do is more of what they love, and they will be happy.

Like visiting with friends, visit (or make) more friends. Like swimming? Find a place to swim and jump in. Like reading, go to the library. Like cooking? Get creative with whatever you have in your refrigerator and cupboard.

There's no excuse for not doing at least one thing you love everyday. With practice, you will find the time to do more than one thing. Get really good at it, and you'll quit doing all that crap you don't love to do and make your life one big love fest! Happily in love with everything you do. What could be better than that?

Get Off the Hedonic Treadmill!

"The what?" you say. The hedonic treadmill. That's what research scientists call it when we relentlessly pursue pleasure. And the problem is that the hedonic treadmill, just like its physical counterpart at the gym, will sooner or later just wear you out!

You see, though pleasure is many times a component of your happiness, the over-pursuit of it is indeed detrimental to your happiness. Try too hard to find pleasure, and the result is stress, not joy.

So take your pleasure as it comes. Your life in its natural state provides you with plenty of opportunities. No need to go to extremes, to chase pleasure to the end of the Earth, or follow it down every dark alleyway.

Learn to enjoy the subtle pleasures that a sunrise, a smile, a fresh strawberry, a job well done can bring. Jump off that sweaty old treadmill and go outside for stroll around your neighborhood. Pleasure abounds. Happiness blossoms. Life is good.

Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude

Want to be happy right here, right now without having to change a single thing? Simply look at your world through grateful eyes. No matter what your current life situation, I'm sure you have many things to be grateful for. The problem is these good things get covered up by our focusing upon the things we don't particularly like. And so, gratitude goes out the window and is replaced by discontent.

Simply shift your focus away from what you don't like and on to what you do. In any given moment there are hundreds of things you can be grateful for -- your friends, your health, your talents, hobbies, sense of humor, favorite possessions -- and the list goes on & on.

As has been said, in one form or another, by nearly every true spiritual teacher from the Buddha on -- what you think about expands. Think about what you like about your life and the liking of your life grows. Gratitude induces more gratitude, and magically enough, even more good things for which to be grateful.

Happiness then increases not because you've gone out and accomplished, achieved, or changed anything. Happiness ensues because you begin to appreciate what's been here all along.

Gratitude fosters happiness. It's as simple as that.

Why?

Why do you do what you do? The answer is simple, and it's the same for all of us. To arrive at this simple, yet powerful, answer, ask yourself the one word question "Why?"

Do a little experiment. Next time you are about to undertake any particular activity ask yourself why you are doing it. You're getting ready to go out for a run - why? You're settling in for the evening to watch your favorite TV show -- why? You're changing jobs, going back to college, moving, retiring, marrying, divorcing -- why, why, why?

Your first answer will not usually be your real reason, so keep asking why. Eventually, as you peel back the layers of reasons, you'll find that the motivation for each and every activity is the desire for happiness.

Or as consultant Kristi Royse puts it," In the end it turns out that we're all taking different paths in pursuit of the same goal -- happiness."

Which path you choose is ultimately not that important. What is important is that in walking it you are happy, that it in traveling it your heart sings! Because if your heart sings, it will not only sing to you, it will sing to others as well.

The happier you are, the happier others around you will become. It's a selfish-altruistic sandwich. Very scrumptious, very nutritious. Enjoy!

Find out more at:

http://linked2leadership.com/2011/02/22/the-business-of-happiness/

Happiness Outside In

You have dinner with friends, you play a couple of highly competitive sets of tennis, you watch the sunset over a lake, at a flea market you find the perfect desk chair for next to nothing, and you're happy! So, what the hell do I mean when I insist that happiness begins within?

All those externals, as well as a million and one others, seem to make you happy. And indeed they are very pleasurable experiences. What they do, however is not make you happy, but help you tap into the vast reservoir of happiness that exists deep with in you. They are your pathways into the happiness that waits patiently and always for you to discover it.

So, please continue to do those things that make your heart sing. And even add more paths to happy to your repertoire. The more externals that lead you to an internal state of happiness, the better off you are.

But don't rely upon any of them exclusively. For when the friends aren't available for dinner, and the tennis courts are frozen over, and the sunset is covered by clouds, and the flea market offers up nothing but used DVD's and tube sox from China, where will you find happiness? Within. In your soul, in your heart of hearts, where it truly always resides.

Enjoy the world and all it has to offer! But remember that is the experience of life itself that is the real source of happiness.

Nothing Makes You Happy!

"This music makes me happy."

"The sunshine makes me happy."

" You make me so happy!"

We both hear and make statements like this all the time. And, with all due respect, none of them are true. Nothing, or no one, "makes" you happy.

You enjoy certain types of music, sunshine, and specific people. When you are in the presence of those stimuli you tap into your innate, internal happiness.

It's more than just semantics.

If someone or something can make you happy, then, the opposite is also true -- someone or something can make you sad, angry, or depressed. If you believe external stimuli control your emotions, and thus the quality of your life, you are at the mercy of whoever or whatever enters your life. You have given up your power.

People who believe that their emotional well being is controlled by externals spend an inordinate amount of time trying to find the ideal and the perfect. They are always searching for the jobs, homes, people, and experiences that will "make" them happy. Their search is fruitless and never ending.

The truth is, you are happy. Happiness is part and parcel of your very nature. You can enjoy the externals, be they people, places or things, but you can't count on them. They all crumble, fade die, or go away. As will you.

But until then, you can be happy, merely by tapping into the current of life. Be happy, don't chase happy. And happily dance to the music, bask in the sunshine, and love the one you're with.

Happy To Be Here At All

Todd Snider knows which ends up when it comes to happiness. It's not about the externals, or keeping up with the Joneses or making it all come out the way you want. It's about being happy just to be alive! It's realizing that any day you wake up above ground is a good day. Here he is to tell you about it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zfBwMLext8&feature=related

What Charlie Sheen Don't Know About Happy

Charlie Sheen, the Poster Boy of Pleasure, seems mighty unhappy lately. He's got it all -- talent, good looks, fame and fortune, and yet, he continues to flame out in epic proportions. (OK, maybe he's lacking in intelligence, but really you don't have to be Einstein to be happy).

In case you're just coming out of your winter hibernation and have missed Charlie's antics, here are a few signs of unhappiness that he's displayed:

* Overindulging on regular and consistent basis

* Wasting resources (talent, money, connections, etc.)

* Attacking others, whether verbally or physically

* Displaying a profound lack of gratitude for his good fortune

* Generally being an asshole

And while it's easy to point fingers at a Hollywood bad boy, the same signs apply to us all. If you're displaying any of the symptoms listed above, you're somehow out of touch with true happiness.

Charlie's approach seems to be if you're unhappy, pile on the pleasure. The only problem is: That approach doesn't work. Massive amounts of pleasure do not produce long term happiness, or even short term happiness.

Happiness begins within.

It's as simple as that. If you're unhappy don't go chasing after the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, go within. Find the source of your unhappiness and your natural happiness will return. Remove the clouds and indeed the sun is always there.

So, what's the real lesson here, what can we learn from Charlie's continued meltdowns? Having it all isn't what it's all about. Whenever you start to think, "I'd be happy if..." you know you're on the wrong track. Any happiness that is predicated upon externals is not true happiness.

That's it. We'll let Charlie be our negative role model, we'll learn from his mistakes (OPM -- other people's mistakes -- is one of the most cost-effective ways to learn), and, of course, we'll wish him luck in finding his own happiness post haste.

Pleasure & Happiness

Lots of folks mistake pleasure for happiness. The fact is, they are not the same. Pleasure is a sensual experience; happiness is a psychological experience. Pleasure is found in the body's interaction with external stimuli. Happiness is an internal state.

Just piling up the pleasures will not bring about happiness. And you can be extremely happy even when your life is not pleasurable. The two do not correlate in any meaningful way.

By pointing out the difference between happiness and pleasure, though, I am in no way denigrating pleasure. By all means, enjoy pleasure when you can. William Blake may well be right when he tells us that "the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." Just remember, when pleasure is unavailable, that is no reason to be unhappy.

Pleasure. Happiness. Both have their place. Viva la difference!